Thursday, February 28, 2008

her name is nona, she's a rocker with a nosering

people are really unperceptive.
maybe i'll just add a body piercing until i look truly badass and i emanate BAMF from a 50 ft radius.

this is a stupid post.
will update/rebamf later.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


i'm sitting in my kitchen, an hour past my bedtime, unshowered
eating creme brulee after working out for 1.5 hours
and i have zero homework done for tomorrow.

ben, text me back!

why am i consistently in the weirdest moods ever?
unfortunately i think they are in fact turning into my personality.
i don't want to sleep, eat healthy, get good grades, clean my room
yet i'm tired, hungry, good at school, going crazy with my clutteredness

i'm just one big sack of blah.

Friday, February 22, 2008

birthing day.

today started wonderfully with a b-session to sarah about my parents and being served a notice of my pass revokation (revok+-ation=????). marvy.

but really, today is a good day.
i think i shall make birthday resolutions... but i will work on those later.
the first ones are to stop cussing and drink a million times more water (not literally. see: PS3 incident). and maybe to stop being a b to carlos after i talk to him about everything.

deep thoughts. okay. i need to talk about something actually substantial before i spontaneously combust (although that would be sweet).
i've been thinking about love vs. practicality. i was first inspired by this upon love-at-first-hear of the line "just because it's real don't mean it's gonna work" from true affection by the blow (excellent band, by the way. probably my favorite at the moment)
and also my cousin diane's scenario; the whole loving two guys but one is more compatible and she's totally devastated and depressed about it.
SO. (get ready for this carrie bradshaw action to rock your shiz) which is better: love first and then practicality second, or practicality and love second, if the second one is optional? which one lasts longer and creates a better relationship? what defines a good relationship? is a lasting relationship still the highest regarded relationship? can you really love someone for a short time? can an old married couple constantly bickering and staying together for the kids or for the sake of their scruples be considered to be in love (practicality>love)????

eighteen... meh.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008



i hate carlos.
i hate him.

and now i have a shadowing gig at prairie life center
to see if i "fit" for a job as a snack girl.

you should call me back.

Sunday, February 17, 2008


"all poetic and philosophical and shit"
yes... indeed.
that was a hysterical comment.

cjeaiojceioafj (e-throat clear)
winter formal.
basically there was little to no awkwardness between zac and i
i was a teeny bit nervous at the beginning (see * below... got me frazzled)
but we get along pretty well.
the whole night FLEW by. we got there at 8:30, had to go change for the time warp ( then, by the time we got changed back after the whole battle of the bands and had chatted with everyone for a while, it was 10:30 so we danced for 25 minutes (sidenote: i missed you because i was dancing like a madwoman.)
afterwards, we went to donut stop & emma's house and zac took me home.
i "lingered" in his car for a little to give him a chance to make a move but he didn't so i was like "thankssomuchbye!" no hard feelings. i'm not too into him persayyy and would have had a good time, mack or not.
carlos was still up looking troubled and "couldn't sleep"... maybe because of the picture fiasco (again, see *)

anyway, that was my night
other than that, i'm pwnt in school, had my prairie life center interview today and basically have just been chillin and playing truth or dare with henry ginsberg over firstclass. that ended pseudo-climatically when he said i was a 7.693 (out of 10) and then asked if i would ever hook up with him.

*story (of my life!) time: so i let zac in when he picks me up and he enters the living room for a "quick pic" where 5 ecuadorians sit (as if they were my brothers there to give him the up down and ask him his intentions with me.) i ask someone to take a picture and, while carlos snaps one of zaccy and i, jaime randomly goes "carlos, kiss her!" and carlos is all "jaime, shut up!!!!!" and jaime answers "we all know you're in love with her" which time i snatched my camera from carlos' grubby hands and flew out the door, date in tow.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

freestyle poetry???

go further so you you can come back faster
race the lines that vein through the plaster
kick flip, so you can catch the flashing images
a flood of cars and darting appendages
but don't fret or get wet, cause everyone knows
it'll all be over sooner than you kill all the crows
this will be clear when you come to the other side
of the fork in that road that your time often bides

yeah... no idea
weak ending and lack of focus.
i actually really like it. verbally it's almost a rap.

come on petunia

when i first went to this blog last night,
i was like "oh. 4 comments. maybe ash wants an update"
but then i read the comment about lolcats...

luckily, i know you didn't mean that as your clearly a crazy gay-guy-following druggie and know not what you say.

anyway, thinking of you on this marvelous valentine's day.
i decided to wear head to toe black with the exception of my beloved neon pink legwarmers
then, for fun, i threw on superthick black eyeliner and pigtails.
so i guess the phrase "a sight for sore eyes" is kind of relevant because the fluorescent leg apparel are enough to make one's eyes sore.

mehhmehehhh mornings
i would read my mega-trashy book (bridget jone's diary... don't disown me!)
but that's embarrassing and i'm sitting by david raybine.

she talks slowly while she inhales
her lungs greedily pulling air
the leaves and twigs weaved in her hair
from a thousand hikes and trails

(i used to think of cool imagery all the time and want to write it down but never did
i should start doing that again. it's like an "eye" for photography... you have to acquire it)

Friday, February 8, 2008


remember yours.

"Dr. Harold Edgerton of Aurora, Nebraska is the inventor of the strobe light."

fact courtesy of noa harnik.
just a little fun tidbit because i'm in a good mood.
a good soul (and room!!!!) cleaning was much needed and i got it tonight.
next on the agenda is to drink hot tea and scribble in my journal only to retire moderately early.

ciaooooooooooo and updates on lew-zow a must.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

hey girl heyyyyy

you have not departed from omaha, but as far as i know, you are gone gone gone...
so farrrr away, doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?

just a few updates:
a. i lovelovelove my new bangs!!!! they were too greasy to see all their potential but now i look in the mirror and i'm like BAM!!!!!!!!!! okay, girly section over (although i'm rather embarrassed because for senior proj i have a page up in firefox called 'how to be girly.' on the bright side, it's better than fat wet bootyfeaipfjea)
b. carlos isn't talking to me. he won't even look at me. i can't decide if it's because of the nyquil or not. if so, i'm leaving with the three most ridiculous and immature people on the planet. but i guess sometimes i fit in.

i've been thinking about innocence a lot. ben and i talked about it a little and looked at ogrish (ever heard??? the most gruesome and dehumanizing site i've ever seen).
my thoughts are that innocence should be preserved in children, but i'm super confused as to what i feel about whether innocence=ignorance and especially at what age should innocence be lost and how. i guess i use innocence as the opposite of desensitization.

interesting stuff.
it's like developmental psychology.